I think I’m a bit of a dark soul.

And I don’t mean that in an oh-woe-is-me way, or in an I-want-attention-because-I’m-depressed way. I’m talking more about the way I think, and what strikes me. I see a lot of beauty in things that other people find sad. There are times that I like that the glass is half-empty. After all, there’s some things that can only be realized when you’ve already accepted a hard truth in place of a comforting lie.

Not that this is a new revelation for me or anything. I’ve just been thinking about it for the last hour or so, since I watched the end of Kuroshitsuji. Its ending was tragic, and yet it was so entirely perfect. It was so bittersweet that my heart still feels funny just thinking about it. It makes me want to write, or sing, or do anything to transfer my own version of that emotion into something.

Maybe that’s part of the reason why everything I write is tinged with angst; I just can’t get past my enamorment with that bit of light that can only be seen when surrounded on all sides by darkness. That, and my belief in the fact that not many of the meaningful things in life are simple and easy. If something’s important, then of course it’ll cause pain just as it will happiness. How on earth would you know how important it is if you don’t have to make sacrifices for it? Because, really, be it time or money or sleep or even emotional well-being, most everything in this world more-or-less requires that you give up something. Believing otherwise just seems naïve to me.

And the act of doing that, of weighing options and resigning yourself to a loss in exchange for an even more important win, and accepting your choice with all you heart…

Yeah, there’s something very darkly stunning about that. Or, at least, that’s how it comes across to me.

Alas, my internet has picked this precise time to crash and I can’t seem to get my tired mind to wrap around writing something out. So, I figured I could at least impart this little smidgen of knowledge about me into a journal I can post tomorrow morning. Give everyone some insight into how I tick. X3;

<3<3<3